Sailor Starlights Vs Astrea Hill
by ShotgunNeko
Summary: What if the Sailor Stars attended Astrea Hill? Three reasons why they never should! ONESHOT! Sailor Starlights/Strawberry Panic


**A/N:**

What would happen if the Starlights attended Astrea Hill? Complete and utter chaos my friends, that's what. Read on to find out why the Lights could never attend Astrea Hill.

Seiya, Yaten and Taiki are in their female form in this story, and they will stay girls throughout LOL

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Strawberry Panic or Sailor Moon.

**Prologue:**

What if Princess Kakyuu had sent Seiya, Taiki and Yaten back to earth for a special mission? What if they were each to enroll in one of Astrea Hill's three schools? Taiki would probably chose Miator for their academics, while Seiya would chose Spica for their sports programs. That would leave Yaten with Lulim, which she would probably happy with because she doesn't like the former or the latter.

Everything seems gravy right?? WRONG!

Here are the top 3 reasons that Seiya and the gang could NEVER attend Astrea hill.

**Reason 1: Shizuma would get jealous.**

Shizuma stood waiting on the rooftop. Yaten approached her idly.

"I'm here Shizuma, I mean etoile-sama. What did you want to see me about? And why are we on the dormitory roof?" asked Yaten unamused.

"Yaten..." Shizuma quietly trailed off. "Yaten I know your secret, and I know you've also been trying to steal my Nagisa-chan away from me." Shizuma said through gritted teeth.

"What?" Yaten was completely confused.

"Well Yaten I too have a secret identity." Shizuma smiled and produced a rose from under her cardigan.

Corny background music blared through the speaker system and filled the rooftop, as Shizuma's uniform became a tuxedo, and her cardigan extended into a cape. A white mask adorned her eyes, and a black top hat made it's way onto her head, just as the music ended.

"TUXEDO ETOILE-SAMA!!!" yelled random fangirls from below.

"Tuxedo Etoile-sama?" asked Yaten hesitantly.

"That's right Yaten, I am Tuxedo Etoile. I am here to put a stop to you and whatever it is you think you're trying to pull with my sweet naïve Nagisa-chan." Shizuma glared.

"I still have no idea what you're talking about." Yaten sweatdropped.

"I'm talking about you and the fact that you look exactly like me!" Shizuma cried angrily.

"We have the same hair color, and we both have green eyes, but other then that we look NOTHING alike! Nagisa would have to be a complete and utter idiot to mistake me for you." Yaten sighed exasperated.

"Don't underestimate the stupidity of my Nagisa-chan." shouted Shizuma as she threw roses, daffodils, lilies, lilacs, tulips, dandelions and anything else she could find in the greenhouse at the unarmed Yaten.

"Star Gentle UTERUS." yelled a voice from the shadows, firing away at Tuxedo Etoile.

"What the hell was that?" Tuxedo Etoile looked down at the front of her tux. "Did you just throw a uterus at me? What the freaking hell?" Tuxedo Etoile continued ranting, trying to wipe the offending uterus juice off her clothing.

"I didn't pick the attack name!" yelled Sailor Star Maker embarrassed. She had arrived on the scene, just in time to stop Tuxedo Etoile and save Yaten.

"Why couldn't I have had Star Serious Laser, or Star Sensitive Inferno? But no...I get the attack that has me yelling out female anatomy. Why don't I just say Star Gentle Fallopian Tube or Star Gentle Vulva for god sakes." Sailor Star Maker continued her rant, as Yaten and Tuxedo Etoile backed away slowly.

"This isn't over Yaten. Nagisa is mine!" Tuxedo Etoile shouted as she flew off into the night air, cape draped over her face, in dramatic fashion.

As Shizuma landed on the ground she looked down at her stained tuxedo one more time.

"Damnit this is so not going to come out with my tide on the go pen." she cursed.

Shizuma returned the tuxedo to Chikaru and the cosplay club, the next day, hoping they wouldn't see the large gooey stain. Alas they did and so she had to think quickly and stated it was mayonnaise, ooey gooey mayo. Then she ran away, because she knew Lulim had it's own Mystery Solving club, and they were bound to find out the truth soon enough. Run Tuxedo Etoile-sama! Run!

**Reason 2: Taiki could die.**

Taiki was used to being the center of attention. After all, Seiya, Yaten and herself had at one time been the most popular band in the world. At the moment though, she was in the midst of two very angry blue haired women, each tugging on her arm.

Taiki felt like she was going to snap in two at any second, as the girls argued.

"She's smart, cute, sweet, and she likes poetry." huffed Tamao. "Therefore I claim her as NEW Nagisa!" she exclaimed, hugging Taiki's arm tightly.

"NoNoNoNo" stated Miyuki, pulling Taiki her way once again. "She's tall, mysterious, sexy and studious, therefore I claim her as NEW Shizuma!" Miyuki glared at Tamao.

As the two girls continued fighting and yelling Nagisa skipped by at that second and after deducing the situation, she began to yell and tug on Taiki as well.

"NEW Nagisa! NEW Nagisa!" she shouted wildly, flinging her arms.

Miyuki and Tamao stopped killing Taiki and looked at Nagisa dumbfounded. Taiki took this opportunity to sneak away.

Just then Yaten walked by, and Nagisa's attention was turned onto the short, silver-haired girl.

"Shizuma-sama! Wait up!" she called after Yaten.

"For the last time." grimaced Yaten. "I'm not Shizuma!" she yelled.

"I love it when Shizuma-sama plays hard to get." Nagisa grinned and jumped on Yaten.

"Listen here. I'm shorter, and cooler, and have wayyyyy better hair than Shizuma." Yaten pointed out. "Therefore I am not Shizuma. Plus i'm cardigan-free!" Yaten exclaimed.

Nagisa looked at Yaten again, then at Yaten's attire. It was true. Yaten was wearing her Lulim school uniform, and there was no cardigan to be found around her shoulders.

Nagisa pouted.

Then Nagisa remembered what Tuxedo Etoile-sama had once told her.

"If your ever lonely, my Nagisa-chan, dream a little dream of me." Tuxedo Etoile had told the younger girl softly.

"Then when your done with dreaming, come visit me at the library, section 7 row D." Tuxedo Etoile had then winked and nudged and flew off into the sunset. Or wherever it was masked crazies fly off to.

Nagisa headed for the library.

**Reason 3: Spica would Crumble**

Shion Tomori was busy showing the brand new transfer student the school grounds. Seiya had been falling asleep during Shion's long-winded speech about Spica and it's school history. She was however, interested in their many prestigious sports programs.

Seiya was good at everything she tried. She was one of those gifted people you loved to hate. She could just watch someone do something and pick it up as quickly as if she had been doing it all her life. As Shion continued to talk about this, that and the other, Seiya noticed they were approaching what seemed to be a horse track and stables.

Seiya was also aware that while they had been walking, the two other members of the Spica Student Council had been watching her intently.

"Kaname, don't you dare start getting ideas." Momomi warned her girlfriend. "I know you're prone to having "rivalries" with tall, dark and handsome girls, but NO means NO!" Momomi huffed, looking to Kaname.

Kaname was vaguely aware that somebody or other was talking to her. She had shut down completely and was now in R.I.V.A.L. Mode. Her pupils were dilated, palms sweaty, and drool was slowly seeping out the side of her mouth.

Basically she was her normal self, except for the fact that all she could hear, see, think was Seiya. She didn't know why, but she had the urge to get her tennis raquet and challenge the new girl to a duel. Instead she decided to stalk—er watch her from a far.

As Seiya approached the stables, she right away noticed the cute, young, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, Spican.

"Odango??" Seiya asked, getting Hikari confused with her precious Usagi.

"Dumpling?" asked Hikari "Are you calling me fat?" she asked, beginning to cry.

"No! I'm sorry I had you confused with someone I used to know." Seiya said, flashing her trademark grin.

The "Prince of Spica Butt Watchers Anonymous" fanclub of Ootori Amane, began to swoon over Seiya's smile.

At that moment Amane came out riding her beloved Star Bride. Hikari clapped happily. Seiya had an idea.

"Hey can I try?" asked Seiya to Amane.

Everyone gasped. Who did Seiya think she was, asking to ride Star Bride? The Prince's fanclub silently watched as their hero spoke.

"Sure, but don't feel too bad if you end up on the ground." Amane said as she tossed Seiya her riding helmet and went to stand by Hikari.

Seiya tossed the helmet aside, eliciting gasps from the Prince's butt club, er watch club, no fanclub!

Seiya jumped onto Star Bride and began to ride the horse.

She was awesome of course, and proceeded to ride the horse forwards, backwards, upside down and sideways. The fanclub members continued to swoon as Seiya performed back flips, front flips, side splits, and of course the ever popular Spread Eagle!

Kaname endured a massive nosebleed while watching Seiya's display of awesomeness. Then she endured another nosebleed from Momomi's right hook.

Hikari's eyes shone with a new light as she watched Seiya doing her moves. Amane just grunted.

"Seiya...Seiya Senpai??" she asked softly as Seiya rode up to the blonde girl.

"WHAT THE F--K??" cried Amane in a jealous rage. "That's your pet name for me"

"Seiya Senpai! Seiya Senpai! Seiya Senpai!" chanted the blonde girl, now under Seiya's love spell.

"I'll kill you." yelled Amane.

"Not if I kill her first" yelled Momomi

"WE LOVE YOU SEIYA NEW PRINCE OF SPICA" yelled the newly formed Seiya Fanclub.

"Finally!" yelled Seiya to her fans. "I get my happy ending!" she said as she scooped Hikari up in her arms and rode off into the sunset, hitting Tuxedo Etoile-sama, who incidentally was also flying off into the sunset.

"Damnit this sunset isn't big enough for the both of us." growled Tuxedo Etoile.

"Star Gentle UTERUS." came a voice from behind Tuxedo Etoile, as she felt a large "SPLAT" against her cape.

"Not again!!" cried Tuxedo Etoile.

"Looks like Tuxedo Etoile-sama is blasting off again!"shouted Nagisa.

"Hey! What the? Why are you riding off into the sunset with the rest of us?" demanded Tuxedo Etoile.

Nagisa shrugged. "I just wanted to do what all the cool kids are doing." she said as she and Tuxedo Etoile began to fall, thus landing on top of Amane, killing her.

Nagisa turns to the audience and says "Uh oh looks like we need another Amane."

Everyone laughed and they all lived happily ever after. Except Amane.

THE END!!!

Hmmm maybe the Sailor Starlights COULD attend Astrea Hill after all!!!

What did you think?

Hate it? Like it? Please Read and Review.

p.s. The butt watchers anonymous club was something i had in my head from a story called half-hearted hero by Dashed. In the story it is mentioned how Kaname and many others enjoy watching Amane's princely bottom. LOL

ShotgunNeko


End file.
